Brutal Review: Brutal Legend

OK enough of this shit! Yea! so Brutal Legend looks great, really good story, great voice acting. Totally agree, but let me tell you how it really breaks down. This is an RTS game, a very frustrating RTS game it took over 3 or more hours to beat a "boss" It's not because I sucked at the game, it's because I never played an RTS game before. So sue me, but here is another thing that "crawls up my crack" the driving in this game is awful:( OMG seriously? There is side mission if you can believe it or not where you have to get beer to a party. Hard to believe huh? But anyways, you have a minuet and half or maybe 2 minuets to get it to the party. Here is my "issue" with this. Driving controls suck, oh did I forget to mention if you run into something like an obstacle it will start to rupture the beer kegs. If the beer kegs explode then have the "option" of playing the mission? I tried twice and gave up. Why? because your Duce Mobile gets caught on every obstacle in the game. I can't tell you how many times I caught on a rock or scenery in the game. And wtf? Eddie can't jump?
So you spend most of your time in the Duce Mobile, oh did I mention you have to "summon" it every-time? Sure you upgrade you car, at one point you can put homing missiles on the car. Huh? Homing Missiles seriously? I couldn't take down a "mutated deer" with one, not to mention that the back ground environment is not destructible.

Now my next grip is the "so called" side missions BORING! except the one where you go hunting animals for Brian Posehn.

The rest consist of 1.ambushing enemy troops 2.You have to play "wing man" for one of your allies. 3. Racing Missions which happens to be the same character over and over again. Other than a trophy? You get bragging rights and that's about it.

Now granted you don't have to do the side missions, but in order to earn "fire tributes" you kinda need to do them.

The guitar mini-game:
OMG! is the frustrating! You have to get the mini game right, if you mis a cord you guitar which goes by the name of Clementine gets hot? Which I don't understand?

OK let me try to explain this, when I battled against Lyon Whyite which is play on words of the band "White Lyon" voiced by Rob Halford of Judas Priest fame. Which originally was supposed to voiced by Ronnie James Dio?
You have these things called "stage battles" and this where the RTS part comes in.

I am not going to go in tons of detail, because it would spoil the game. But as Eddie you have play a chord on your guitar called "fan support" to basically raise what the game calls a "merchant booth" and you have to play this cord every time and one the hardest cords to play in the game. And if you fuck it up, Clementine overheats. And then you have to wait till she cools down, to try the cord again? Did I mention this in middle of battle?

This Is why I hate RTS games, I just get a "merch booth" up and enemies tear it down, and then I have to rebuild it. OMG! talk about frustrating.

Online Game Rentals

Fist of I want to get this out of the way.

I HOPE ALL OF YOU FUCKERS THAT GOT DEMON'S SOULS I HOPE YOU FUCKING CHOKE ON IT! I HOPE YOUR PC 360 OR PS3 CRASH THAT WAY YOU HAVE TO GO OUT AND BUY A NEW ONE! "evil laugh"

Now got that off my chest, let's talk about Game Lie shall we. Once again I got fucked by them, and I am tired of getting "raped" by Game Fly did any of you out there read the terms of service use before? Maybe you should take a closer look at it next time, but in the mean time allow to post for you LAZY fuckers out there. You know who you are, so fucking lazy your mom still has to wipe your ass for you and your like 35 years old:P


Shipping Policies
Our goal is to ship you the game ranked highest in your queue and to ship it from the nearest warehouse the same day we receive the prior one you returned in our warehouse or receive notification from the USPS that you placed a game in the mail. We use reasonable efforts to ship used game purchases within 1 business day after receiving your order. We currently ship six days per week (Monday through Saturday) using USPS first class mail. We do not ship during USPS holidays. We will send you an email when we have received a returned game and another email when your new game has been shipped.

We reserve the right to ship rental games among the members of our Service in any manner we determine. Depending on a variety of factors (including the amount and location of our inventory), we may not always send the top choices from your queue or ship your next game the same day we receive one from you. Please note that not all deliveries will be shipped from the warehouse closest to you. Other factors that may impact the delivery time are (i) the timing of changes to your game queue; (ii) the location of the warehouse; (iii) delivery issues within the USPS system; and (iv) technical problems within GameFly and/or the Internet.


So have have you always wondered you never get the game you want, and you some old piece of crap game from months ago? When you are a ture gamer, you want it and you want it NOW! You don't want to have to fucking wait, but at the same time your also at fault. Let me explain this to you DIPSHIT! in plain fucking English.

Remember that game you kept out for month's on end, well when you do that you thoughtless piece of shit. That means some other "loser" out there doesn't get to play the game.

But when you don't get the latest new game, you whine and bitch on the forums and blame Game Fly. When you decide a stingy piece of shit and horde that game for months. Did your parents not each you to share? Apparently not? It's like going to an "all you can eat buffet" they literally don't mean that. Same thing with Game Fly, so enjoy your fucking Demon's Soul you ass wipe. Because I will be enjoying either
Brutal Legends or Uncharted 2 while your still play last weeks game. Oh one other thing you stingy fucks, I plan on keeping Raw vs. Smackdown till sometime 2010. So you will know how it feels when you can't play a game. If not Smackdown than Borderlands. And there is not a FUCKING THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! So if your not down with that I have two words for you.
SUCK IT!

Update: I decided that I am going to keep Call Of Duty Modern Warfare 2 for Infinity.
So that's one less copy you pussies will be able to play lulz!